


- South America - Chile -

by Jaspersfreedom



Category: Original Work
Genre: Auto correct is stupid, F/M, He was spanish, I Loved You, I was happier with you, I’m such a fool, Love, Song roses, This Shit Hurts, and im german, baby u look happier u do, bc I can’t let him go, chilean, i don’t know why I wrote this tbh, i gave it all for u, i just had a phase of missing him, i keep tryna smile to Hide the truth, i will shut up now, im an awful person, im waiting here for u, long distance, love letter, my friends told me one day I’ll feel it too, my heart is dead, relationship, roses r read, shit still hurts, song happier, these are too much tags, this is addicting tho, v - Freeform, violets r blue, why did I fall for u, why do I add this much of tags, why was he so perfect, wrote this to cope but I’m just stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 08:30:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18442838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaspersfreedom/pseuds/Jaspersfreedom
Summary: Wrote a kind of love letter to my ex-long distance relationship.





	- South America - Chile -

**Author's Note:**

> So y’all here ya go. Met this boy on Instagram in the summer of ‘17. He’s been just perfect but guess that’s what y’all can read out of this love letter.

To: Vasco

https://youtu.be/S_1MXllHWMQ  
https://youtu.be/zWQN7u6g62c

Why I’m sending you this? Why I’m even writing you at all? Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t even know if you will read all of this bullshit. 

You were the love of my life I’m more than sure of that. Do you wanna know why? It’s a pretty stupid thing and probably a bit exaggerated but... I know that because you’ve been the only person ever, I could have imagined having a child with. I never understood why anybody would want to have a child, like... just why? When I was with you I understood it. I loved the idea of having a human being that was a fusion of our love. The purest and most beautiful idea ever. Now that you’re gone I lost this understanding. It’s just unfamiliar to me.  
That’s why I know you’ve been the love of my life or my soulmate or even both. You’ve been both. I still couldn’t delete all of your pictures. I managed to delete our WhatsApp chat, therefore all of your voice messages. Kinda regret it, your voice was by far the most beautiful thing I ever listened to in my whole life.

All of you was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever was allowed to witness. I was crazy in love with your beautiful dark and long hair and dreamed about going through it with my fingers. Your dark brown eyes were like a field of sunflowers, brown earth with thousands of sparkles going through them. Your voice is how I imagined angels singing. I really really adored you with all of my heart. I would have done everything for you, no exception. Every night i dreamed about the day I would be allowed to be in your arms and kiss you. Honestly I dreamed about this scenario every single night. Even after you left me. 

I wondered if it was possible, informed myself how I would be able to make you stay in my country permanently. I would have married you as soon as you turned 18. I would have wanted to life with you forever. I would have thrown my wish to study something away, would have started working so I could feed both of us. I would have waited until you properly learned my language so you could search yourself a workplace. Even if not, even being near poverty would have been okay, as long as I was with you. Yeah..., I’ve been thinking about our life for a long long time. I mean, we knew each other for more than a year. 

It’s just... i still don’t understand why you left me without any warning or any explanation. Just stating how bad you were for me and that i was better of without you even though that’s not true at all. After you left me... a complete world broke inside of me. You knew what I’ve been going through, what horrible things happened in the past. After all that, I felt like my soul was shattered if not even gone. But you, you gave me something back, made me strong enough to repair myself. And then... then it was taken away from me again. I would still like to understand it. Why you left, why you promised me to come back when you didn’t. 

It’s been nearly a year now since you broke up with me. I know that I’ll never be able to love anyone as much as I loved you. I mean, I never even want to love anyone the way I loved you because the feelings I had for you were truly special. I’m glad I still have a video where you’re talking that renato sent to me after I begged him to show me you’re alive. I don’t think i will ever be able to delete that. Or the few pictures i still have of half of your beautiful face. I wonder if you still cover your nose and your mouth with these handkerchiefs. 

These god damn handkerchiefs... I still catch myself looking for one that’s at least similar to the one you wore the most. That black white one. It reminds me of you. Just as that bracelet reminds me of you. Maybe it’s kinda sad but I really bought a silver bracelet with a chain that has written “V” on it. I don’t wear it anymore since I finally stopped being obsessed with you. But as I wore it, I didn’t take it of at all. And if I for once forgot to put it on I literally panicked. I couldn’t do anything without it, felt naked and uncomfortable without it. I keep it in a literal treasure box. I’m afraid that if I put it on again I’ll realize I have never stopped having feelings for you.  
But I guess that’s impossible to forget you. My soulmate. I have loved you. But, because I loved you, I have to let you go even though I could still cry oceans for you. And I’d probably crawl back to you if you’d want me again. I’ve never though that i honestly deserved you. My perfect little angel.

**Author's Note:**

> That’s it. Kinda abrupt I suppose. But well yeah.


End file.
